Closure

I had a short day at work and took the scenic route to have lunch with myself. Pouring rain made the landscape of azaleas blooming that much brighter. It was Closure Day. I needed some calm.

I headed to Sedro-Woolley and stopped for coffee at the Woolley Market before heading to the bank to get cashiers checks. The bank ladies reminisced about my mom. “Sweet”. “Sassy”. “Funny”. I told them how much she had loved them. I always thought it was silly that she loved the bank ladies but they really are all so nice.

Say what you will about Wells Fargo as a corporation, each person I’ve dealt with in their entire system has been truly kind and compassionate with maybe one or two minor exceptions.

Next stop was The Flower Shop where I selected a big pink bouquet.

I showed the flower lady my art – the rendered photo of her shop that I have available in my Etsy store. https://etsy.me/2GibjAc. She loved it!

I drove out to the cemetery and told her I had finished everything. I had followed all the rules and kept all the records.

We closed THE ESTATE. Fitting it would be on National Siblings Day. I met with my siblings at our brother’s business and signed our releases and collected our Residual.

I drove to the law office and dropped off the final paperwork and went on the ultimate scenic, one my mom and I had done umpteen times.. through the tulip fields all over West Mt Vernon. I drove past my first full time job – Food Services Inc. it looks the same. My mom loved it when I worked there 35 years ago. She baked and spoiled the warehouse guys and truck drivers and so did I.

I tiptoed through the tulips .. the mud and muck .. so much stunning beauty. I stopped a million times. I talked to the cows. I declared to the Lord how absolutely beautiful his creations are. Oh my gosh he is the most amazing artist!

I stopped at the nursery and came so close to buying a camelia! That was my moms aunts name – one no one had ever met because she died at the mental hospital in the 1930s – of tuberculosis- where she was housed for having epilepsy. My mom got epilepsy in the past decade and I will definitely get a camelia in the near future. The petals will make the most amazing paint strokes!

I finished up with a stop at Tulip Town where they had Locals Night! Hadn’t been there in many years so this was a lovely surprise! Art and flowers galore!

I headed home and went out to dinner with my ever patient husband to recap my day. I am truly blessed and thankful for a bit of Closure.

©Belindabotzong2019

Rainy Day Happiness

It’s what most would describe as a dreary, drizzly, cold northwest day. I say praise and glory to God for such days. It soothes my soul like nothing else to see the bay blanketed in low-lying sky that makes the world monochrome shades of silver and gray.

To get off work early, drive along the waterfront, find a parking spot and run into the art market for a quick inventory check is happiness. To hear someone was just there asking to see me was pure joy. To sit in my favorite new cafe where everything on the menu is tasty AND healthy is blessed.

Planning to spend this dreary afternoon immersed in creating my next design, wearing my baggy shirt and glue pants – picking the next flower petal to place in just the right spot.. ah what blissfulness. To plan a weekend of reorganizing my space and installing new storage bins– oh my what a glorious time of year!

©Belindabotzong2018

90-day Supply

The way my mind works this could be a disturbing art piece.

I am at the police station where you can drop off prescription drugs and over the counter medications and supplements.

They gave me a little paper bag to open all the containers and dump. That full, I went to ask for another and yet another. Then I thought of all the colors and dumped them all out again so I could take a photo because they are so beautiful.

They were to keep my mom going. Blood pressure. Kidney protection. Seizures. Arthritis. Pain. Digestion. Allergies. A 90-day-supply to keep her ticking.

They represent so many things. Years of battling against chronic disease. Years of research and development. Thousands of dollars spent to treat, prevent, or slow down the progression of illnesses.

But there is no magic pill to combat the years and choices and genetics and the design. We are made to deteriorate over time because we live in a fallen world.

The only way to end suffering is to finally die. We can work out and eat right and take supplements and never need to seek medical treatment. But in the end it all leads to the same outcome. Death.

The question becomes where do you spend eternity. It lasts a lot longer than the minutes we spend in this body.

Jesus.

©Belindabotzong2018

First Best Friends

My daughter left today

My very best friend

Moving forward

Life’s journey

My mom is in the hospital

My first best friend

Moving forward

Life’s journey

I cleaned out my daughters room

Childhood memories and piles of artwork mixed with more piles of seventeen years of school assignments

Some I tossed without a care. Others I kept with a tear. Everything from journals to teeth to her final pacifier. Coins from around the world. Paint brushes to hair brushes. Invitations, celebrations. Report cards and note cards. Whispers of a treasured childhood and exclamations if struggles and victories.

She packed her car and drove away with multiple hugs lingering in my arms and sweet kisses on my face. I see her in my rear view mirror as that precious toddler who cried at my leaving for work. Now I lose a tear at watching her drive away a newlywed with big dreams and plans.

I am her biggest fan and her first best friend. My daughter.

My mom is medically unstable and poorly responding to treatment, preparing for her journey home to Jesus. Sooner or later.

I imagine soon I will be going through her things and clearing out decades of memories and accumulated items that are profoundly important and those clearly meaningless in the scope of things.

Old bills, photos from a century past, documents and piles of memories and catalogs galore filled with trash and treasures for earthly pleasures.

And I see her in my rear view mirror holding my toddler in her arms and waving goodbye as I headed off to work and she stayed behind to help her grow up.

I will watch her go ahead of me as it should be and she will cheer me on from above as she always has. My biggest fan. My first best friend. My mom.

©Belindabotzong2018

Glorious Sunset Moonrise

The shoreline is quickly crowded with viewers rushing toward a dazzling sunset

Cameras snapping over and over as others sit quietly basking in the glow of red, orange, and yellow streaks across the sky

There is a holiness to the hush as the sun dips into the sea and as if on a pulley, the full harvest moon arises in sync with the sunset.

Without realizing, the crowd is being awed by the creator of all things —

light, darkness, seasons, change,

even the ability to appreciate the gift of nature’s art

All created by a living, loving, masterful artist.

He is the Lord God who has lifted the same moon over centuries.

He has pressed the same sun into the same ocean of millennia.

He has painted the same sky over and over for time infinitum.

He has turned the pages of the seasons repeatedly over generations.

And still his most beloved creation, you, me, the homeless, the wealthy, the weakest, the strongest, the worn down and the high and mighty, all stop to acknowledge the stunning beauty and majesty of a sunset. A moonrise.

Who ever said, “how boring” as the sun blazed brilliant colors across the sky?

Who ever didn’t gasp at the enormity of a harvest moon in all its glory?

Who says it’s all just a monotonous routine, the rising, the setting, the brilliance, the tides, the change of seasons, the ebb and flow of life?

The stunning beauty of it all should ignite a spirit of praise within us that leads to complete devotion to the most high God, to the most magnificent artist, to the creator of heaven and earth.

©Belindabotzong2018

Garden Fireworks

Garden fireworks ignited by radiant sunset beams

Bursting with vibrant arrays of red, pink, yellow, and orange

Garden candy sweetened with nectar for the honeybees to engorge their striped bellies, intoxicated

Dahlias delightful celebration of summer ending. Welcoming fall with flamboyance

©Belindabotzong2018

Welcome Back Autumn

The winds of change are blowing

Leaves tumble and twirl in delight

Autumn arrives with a wet kiss on summer’s cheek

Refreshing the earth, the air, my soul

Days darken sooner with a refreshing coolness

Night lingers longer with a crispness in the morning breeze

Welcome back Autumn!

©Belindabotzong2018

Sunrise

I sit and watch the river meander

Twisting and turning down the path of least resistance

Swirling past boulders to create a churning mosaic reflecting the sky

Maples with floppy yellow leaves release helicopter seeds swirling and spinning in the gentle mountain breezes

Dew drops sparkle, clutching the edges of the long, sharp needles of the dark drooping limbs of ponderosa pine

Pine cones dropping with a plunk to the dry grassland beneath

Startling mother Quail with her youngsters hiding in the bush and blue jays squawking opinions from above

Buttermilk clouds filter the stream of morning sunlight

Last sunrise of vacation

©Belindabotzong2018