family | Belinda Botzong

Closure

I had a short day at work and took the scenic route to have lunch with myself. Pouring rain made the landscape of azaleas blooming that much brighter. It was Closure Day. I needed some calm.

I headed to Sedro-Woolley and stopped for coffee at the Woolley Market before heading to the bank to get cashiers checks. The bank ladies reminisced about my mom. “Sweet”. “Sassy”. “Funny”. I told them how much she had loved them. I always thought it was silly that she loved the bank ladies but they really are all so nice.

Say what you will about Wells Fargo as a corporation, each person I’ve dealt with in their entire system has been truly kind and compassionate with maybe one or two minor exceptions.

Next stop was The Flower Shop where I selected a big pink bouquet.

I showed the flower lady my art – the rendered photo of her shop that I have available in my Etsy store. https://etsy.me/2GibjAc. She loved it!

I drove out to the cemetery and told her I had finished everything. I had followed all the rules and kept all the records.

We closed THE ESTATE. Fitting it would be on National Siblings Day. I met with my siblings at our brother’s business and signed our releases and collected our Residual.

I drove to the law office and dropped off the final paperwork and went on the ultimate scenic, one my mom and I had done umpteen times.. through the tulip fields all over West Mt Vernon. I drove past my first full time job – Food Services Inc. it looks the same. My mom loved it when I worked there 35 years ago. She baked and spoiled the warehouse guys and truck drivers and so did I.

I tiptoed through the tulips .. the mud and muck .. so much stunning beauty. I stopped a million times. I talked to the cows. I declared to the Lord how absolutely beautiful his creations are. Oh my gosh he is the most amazing artist!

I stopped at the nursery and came so close to buying a camelia! That was my moms aunts name – one no one had ever met because she died at the mental hospital in the 1930s – of tuberculosis- where she was housed for having epilepsy. My mom got epilepsy in the past decade and I will definitely get a camelia in the near future. The petals will make the most amazing paint strokes!

I finished up with a stop at Tulip Town where they had Locals Night! Hadn’t been there in many years so this was a lovely surprise! Art and flowers galore!

I headed home and went out to dinner with my ever patient husband to recap my day. I am truly blessed and thankful for a bit of Closure.

©Belindabotzong2019

Closure

One step closer to closure. The house is sold and today escrow closed. She would have been so happy to know a single young guy is moving in, a man who works at the refinery, so likely a hard-working guy with dreams for this house. Does he know how proud she was to be a homeowner?

That a widow of over 35 years, left with five children to raise, could successfully own a home was a source of great accomplishment for her.

She would be proud that she left no debt behind besides what she owed on that house. This, too, was a huge accomplishment, given the years of overwhelming sacrifice, credit card debt, and struggles to stay afloat.

She would be proud that my sisters and I have made it through this part of The Estate without losing our way with each other. The civility, support, and love that we have shared through this four month part of the journey is a miracle.

She would be very happy to know that the “residual” is enough to allow us to do something special for our families. It isn’t life-changing money, but it will be a blessing to the four of us, though we would all rather have our mom.

It seems ironic that we closed on Valentines Day. This would have been the day when she would have gotten corny cards, marshmallow filled heart candies, and maybe flowers. She always loved the idea of the giant heart-shaped box. One year she bought my kids those chocolate lips that made her laugh. Instead, this year, we mourn our loss and still struggle with the reality of it all.

She would be mad about all the snow, the branches of her giant pine trees touching the ground. It’s been a long, hard week getting everything done and trying to make it to work, meeting the deadlines, getting paperwork to the right place, getting delayed by the storms.

So, blessings on the guy who has taken on a new project. Blessings on my sisters for powering through one of the most trying experiences of our lives. Blessings on Casa Brothers, the amazing guys who helped with The Estate Sale, listing and selling and closing. It has been miraculous all around. Still another month before the estate closes officially. I miss my mom. She would be proud.

Junk Mail

Her mail comes to my house now

I thought that would mean I get the bills

Apparently the junk mail is included

She didn’t think it was junk mail though. She loved her catalogs.

When I went to see her – or anyone who came through the door, the first task before entering the house was checking the mail.

The mailbox is across the street so she was afraid to go in case she had a seizure or fell. God forbid she take her walker.

On my way in with the pile I often just stopped at the recycling bin and tossed her junk mail in to keep her from spending too much on the strawberry fairies (for me because I have a strawberry theme), the colorful skirts with watercolor pencils (for my daughter the artist) or for any number of household amazing items you can’t possibly imagine.

Sometimes she placed orders on the phone then made one of the grandkids go get money orders to pay for it so I wouldn’t know.

Only I did.

Sometimes she said “go on that button pushing thing and order these,” meaning go online. Whoever got the shotgun shaped plungers for their toilets, I’m sorry.

Then all the requests for donations. Oh my goodness. She would put the requests for money to Israel, starving children, paralyzed veterans and homeless. I would tell her she is going to be starving and homeless if she sent money to all those people.

God sees her heart. He knows she is more generous than what he has blessed her with. She always told him (me, everyone) she just needed more money. There’s so much to buy! I just wanna be rich.

They say money can’t buy happiness but I’m pretty sure she would have been happy being rich and buying everything in those catalogs and giving thousands to those charities.

I gave up telling her to stop buying junk for us. It made her happy. I paid her bills. It’s only money. Every now and then I let her donate.

So the junk mail has been trickling in over the past three months. Then yesterday ..